Individuality and Love
Sometimes it strikes me how many lives exist apart from my own. Countless minds produce countless thoughts which never touch my consciousness or make any impact at all on my existence. I wonder how it can be possible for my inner world to be so familiar to me but non-existent to everyone else. Occasionally when I am in a room and somebody leaves, I try to take on their perspective, mentally following them outside and leaving myself behind. I picture that I am privy to their state of mind, with all of its uniquenesses and peculiarities. Although it is rare for me to feel truly immersed in another mentality, there have been instants when it seems to occur, giving me hope that our psyches are not as solitary as they seem.
I have found that the purest way to connect with another person is not to attempt to become one with their mind, but rather to enter into a unifying experience with them. The classic example of this is love. Love begins when another person inspires admiration in you, making you desire their identity as a part of your own. Through love flows a wish to share your individuality with someone else, to convey to them the feelings that exist within you, which, when freed from the private cell of your mind, create a common pool of consciousness. There are times when, whether during a brief reunion or a longstanding partnership, we are chemically attracted to each other in a way that seems to melt away our individuality. These moments only occur when two people allow themselves to be completely vulnerable with each other, leaving behind the sense of control society has instilled, and replacing it with trust. If we can manage to depart from the self-possession we have learned over the years and experience a real bond outside of ourselves, we can briefly re-experience the immortality we felt as children.
Evan Bailyn is a serial entrepreneur, search engine and social media expert, celebrated author and child advocate. His company, First Page Sage, is a leader in search engine optimization and social media marketing - vastly increasing business for its clients through high SEO rankings, targeted Facebook advertising and viral videos. Evan is also the founder of the Evan Bailyn Foundation, a foundation dedicated to teaching emotional awareness to children and adults.