Early Writings of Evan Bailyn

Timeline Of Sexuality

Posted by Evan Bailyn on Thursday, January 19th, 2012 with 0 comments

Here are some of the more important benchmarks of sexuality that occur in childhood. I’ve tried to be as accurate as possible.

• Ages 7 – 8 (Second Grade): Some boys begin to think girls are pretty. First crushes develop, but are kept secret because it is not yet fully acceptable to like girls. Usually, there is no discussion of crushes among friends.
• Ages 8 – 9 (Third Grade): Crushes are now acceptable to most cliques, though a few are still uncomfortable with the idea. Girl–boy interaction begins to have some meaning beyond friendship.
• Ages 9 – 10 (Fourth Grade): The inception of the idea of “going out.” Only a few kids in the grade, usually the most popular, go out with each other. There is typically no physical contact at all between those who are going out; however, the precocious may engage in handholding or footsie.
• Ages 10 – 11 (Fifth Grade): This is a breakout year. Popular kids come back from summers at sleepaway camp and tell of unspeakable adventures. Non-sleepaway-camp-goers are haunted with curiosity. Going out is in full force, though the majority of girls are still too shy to do it. However, the popular kids once again take the initiative, holding no-parents parties where lascivious games like Spin The Bottle, Truth or Dare, and Seven Minutes In Heaven are played.
• Ages 11-12 (Sixth Grade): By this point, a third to a half of the grade has either gone out with someone or, at the least, “liked” someone publicly. Phone conversations between “girlfriends” and “boyfriends” begin to occur. Scandals sprout up within groups of girls. Clandestine discussions take place over the phone, in lunchtime gossip sessions, and within folded notes.
• Ages 12 – 13 (Seventh Grade): Girls start to have boobs. Guys begin to notice that girls have boobs. Health class introduces all kinds of freaky ideas like nocturnal emissions, masturbation, and the female reproductive system.
• Ages 13 – 14 (Eighth Grade): Rumors begin to circulate about certain couples rounding the bases, especially at sleepaway camp. During the school year, opportunities begin to arise for less popular kids to go out with each other. Some first kisses occur. A couple of kids have parties where alcohol is served.
• Ages 14 – 15 (Freshman year of high school): Lots of guys try masturbation and begin to talk about it semi-openly. The first rumors of someone having sex take place. Approximately a third of the grade has already had their first kiss.
• Ages 15 – 16 (Sophomore year of high school): More than half the grade has kissed somebody. Those who haven’t are getting nervous. Parties with alchohol become more common. A few popular couples are involved in long-term (one to three month) relationships.
• Ages 16 – 17 (Junior year of high school): Parties get wilder. Some kids try smoking pot and other drugs. The long-term couples have sex. The shyest kids who have not yet kissed anyone find out-of-school outlets like camps and vacations at which to pursue their romantic longings.
• Ages 17 – 18 (Senior year of high school): Banner sex year — Long-term relationships become commonplace among most cliques. Guys pressure their girlfriends to have sex because they don’t want to seem inexperienced at college, and girls reason that they may as well do it with the guy they’re dating so their first time isn’t with some random guy in college.
• Ages 18 – 21 (College): College freshmen party frequently and rampantly; lost time is over-compensated for as binge drinking becomes the norm and sexual activity skyrockets to new levels. Even the shyest and nerdiest of students get involved.
• Ages 21 – 25 ( Grad School / The Real World): A new era of long-term relationships ushers in. Sexuality becomes commonplace due to overexposure in college. Girls begin to desire marriage and family, seeking guys who can provide them with long-term support. Guys enjoy an enhanced sexual status, taking advantage of the benefits for a few years and then opting to settle down.

Now that you’ve read through the whole timeline, go back to the beginning and read the first few years. It’s amazing how much has changed, isn’t it? Does it make sense that love and sexuality should be so radically different from the way it was when we were in grade school? Here’s what

Evan Bailyn is a serial entrepreneur, search engine and social media expert, celebrated author and child advocate. His company, First Page Sage, is a leader in search engine optimization and social media marketing - vastly increasing business for its clients through high SEO rankings, targeted Facebook advertising and viral videos. Evan is also the founder of the Evan Bailyn Foundation, a foundation dedicated to teaching emotional awareness to children and adults.